NATURE VS. NURTURE


If you don't know where you're going you'll end up someplace else.

Yogi Berra


Many believe the earliest nurturing environment created by our primary caretakers is the cause and motivating factor that influences the very nature of our being,, positively or negatively. Parents are powerful influences but rare are those who are tuned to the voice within their child. And parents usually are either blamed or given credit for their adult children's successes or failures.


If this is so, using a Monday Morning Quarterbacking approach, we can very neatly fit the parental influence into almost any scenario. A controlling parent can produce a child who is ultimately also controlling or one who is controlled by others. A compulsively clean parent can produce a compulsively clean child or one who is thoroughly messy one and rebels against that early environment. A lot of arguing in the home can be the cause of one becoming an argumentative adult or one who fears conflict. All can be true.


Furthermore, many parents will tell you their child's personality was apparent from birth. This becomes more obvious when a parent has more than one child and can describe the differences in their behaviors as being there from infancy. If the personality is already formed before there was parental influence would it not be reasonable to assume something besides personality might already be developed within each infant?


If we are born with an inner drive, a knowing where we should be headed, how can a child respond to it when parents are in control? If the child's desires are the same as the parents then it's path won't be difficult. But if there is a conflict of interest, the struggle begins.


But what happens to those whose destiny seems to have been foisted upon them by their parents?