IS IT INTUITION?


Until you make the unconscious conscious it will direct your life and you will call it Fate.

Carl Jung


So what is that drive propelling us? People frequently refer to intuition but we must differentiate between intuition and what I refer to as "knowing." Intuition is a kind of "knowing." We can't put our fingers on exactly where it is coming from...it's not a thought...it's not concrete. It's a sudden twinge that can easily be discarded. And feeling it can only be momentary.


But knowing is permanent. It cannot be ignored. Once felt, we can try to distract ourselves from it but it keeps coming back. Knowing can cause a knot in our stomach when a wrong choice is being made or a feeling of relief when a right one occurs. If ignored it can bring up feelings of frustration with a slight sense of an inner battle. When you follow it you will feel a sense of serenity. When other influences cloud our minds that inner voice will try to speak. You just have to listen.


It's not unusual to confuse wishing as being an intuition or a knowing. Wishing carries with it an element of uncertainty. You may wish to be a singer but you find you don't have the necessary talent to succeed in that field. If you've watched the television talent shows there are endless examples of people who are wishing for fame and fortune, determined to make the cut but it's obvious it's not their path. Yet there are those contestants who seem to exude an energy that will not stop. It seems to be determined and certain.


If you don't actually succeed in your dream profession because you don't have the talent, you may experience a profound hurt. Admitting you don't have what it takes requires courage and strength. But this acceptance may be necessary to motivate you to change direction to lead you to your truer path.


My own personal story begins with my very young self telling my mother that I want to become a wise old lady who helps people. It was thought to be surprising for a child to say but nothing more was made of it. As a teenager I wanted to be an actress but experienced stage fright and although the dream was there, the motivation to follow was not. Instead, after college, I got my first job as a secretary at CBS Television and unbeknownst to me my path was being set forth. I was offered to "climb the ladder" by becoming a television Production Assistant, then a Script Supervisor and ultimately was hired as a television network executive at ABC where I developed and supervised, among other shows, the ABC Afterschool Specials, a series that dealt with difficult issues families and teenagers were having such as drugs, divorce, suicide, etc.


Always being interested in human behavior and fascinated with people's lives, I loved making these films. After 5 years I left the network and became an independent film producer creating and developing movies with three-dimensional, complicated characters and their stories. Then a phone call came that inspired me to take some psychology courses to study more about people and their issues which ultimately led me to leave the entertainment industry and become a licensed Psychotherapist. It took me until my 60's to focus on a different path from creating characters and their issues to actually sitting in front of real characters, listening to their real stories and helping them reach the end of their own personal "script."


The clues were there all along. I had unconsciously been led to my final destination as a psychotherapist. That little voice within that expressed itself as a child knew what I didn't know. I am now that wise old lady helping people.